4 words: hood of his car
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
