I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
