He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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