oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
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