this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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