Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
