took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
