He kissed a someone with a penis
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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