if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
