I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
