Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
