the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
