Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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