She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
