we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
