She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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