lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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