his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
