I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
