I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
