her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
