Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
