he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
