Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
