I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want nice things and good sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
