Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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