the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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