I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
