Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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