is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
