you guys were way drunker than both of me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
