Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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