He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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