I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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