I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
