no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need a beard to bite.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
