im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
