Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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