I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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