i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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