He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
