so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
