I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
