from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
