It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
