Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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