True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
