You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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