Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
