She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
