Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
