Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
