yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ttyl tear gas
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
