just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
