Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
