I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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