Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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