it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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